Our boys are now 20 months old (how long do we count in months?), which means they have definitely entered real toddlerhood and we have definitely entered REAL parenthood.
Up until recently it felt like our only job was to keep them alive— fed, clothed and napped. But now, we have to actually teach them things, help them understand their surroundings, navigate their emotions, show them how to interact and play and not bite each other. It’s a whole new ball game.
There was a time when I would have told you that “training a child in the way they should go” meant teaching them what to believe and how to behave.
I assumed if I wanted my kids to know and follow God, then obedience was the primary goal. I thought the proof of “good” parenting was seen in “good” children.
But as it turns out, kids are not robots! They are not as easily programmable as I had mistakenly presumed.
And obedience is not, in fact, the main goal.
In today’s sixth installment of our Curious Christ series,1 Jesus asks yet another soul-searching question, “Who do you say I am?”
I’ve always read it like there was one right answer. The Sunday school answer. The straightforward, absolute truth, obvious answer. Yes, Peter replied, “you are the Messiah!” which is 100% accurate. But I’m not so sure Jesus was only looking for that response.
If Jesus’s primary goal for his disciples had been for them to know the right answers and act the right way, then he could have simply given them a manual to obey. But faith is about so much more than what we believe and how we behave.
Perhaps after 3 years together, Jesus wasn’t testing their knowledge so much as he was developing their trust. Maybe he wasn’t asking if they could list all of his attributes or explain his deity or pass a theology quiz. Maybe, “who do you say I am?” was an invitation to deepen their friendship with him, rather than to check what they believed about him.
Belief is unwieldy word. When I try to define my faith by the doctrines I believe, or the boxes I tick, or the camps I’m in, or the people I agree or disagree with, I end up confused and frustrated. But all throughout the Bible, the word “believe” most literally means “to trust!”
Believing in Jesus equals trusting Jesus.
Perhaps Jesus wants our faith to be an ever growing, always unfolding, beautifully active relationship, based on deepening trust. Not rules. Not knowledge. Not beliefs. Maybe Jesus wants to be known. Deeply, personally trusted and known.
More than how to behave or what to believe, I want my boys to know WHO to trust.
I don’t want them to just know intellectually who God is. I want them to experience Jesus’s love in their everyday lives and learn to hear his voice.
When our faith is built on a trusting relationship with a living person, over beliefs and creeds and doctrines, it won’t as easily crumble when the first storm comes.
“Trust changes us. If healthy obedience happens, it’s because it’s animated by trust. It would be backwards to ask a child to obey a God they do not yet know. Childhood is for getting to know God so kids can first discover that God can be trusted.”
-Meredith Miller, Woven
In today’s Passage+Practice+Prayer, may we allow Jesus’s probing question to nudge us towards a deeper trust in him.
May we set aside for now our knowledge about God and our obedience to God, and simply choose to rest in our friendship with Jesus.
As we enter this Palm Sunday and Holy Week, I invite you to pay attention to who you know Jesus to be from personal history, from an active relationship, from your everyday lived experience with him. And may that strengthen your trust all the more.
With peace,
Sarah
Who Do You Say I Am?
Matthew 16:13-17
When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”
They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”
“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”
Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.
A PRACTICE
Like a child2
Ask a kiddo in your life to describe God. Invite them to be curious and to wonder out loud what God is like. How have they experienced God?
You may need to gently probe beyond the Sunday school answers. You might ask if they’ve ever had a moment where they felt God’s presence or nearness? Have they sensed God’s voice or received God’s love? What is it like to be God’s child?
Take it a step further and let them tell you who Jesus is in their own words. How do they picture Jesus ? Again, allow them to ponder and imagine and be creative. Give permission for them to explore and doubt and just not know.
Lastly, if it seems appropriate, take a moment to listen to God together. You can say a short prayer welcoming the Holy Spirit to speak, to be present, to guide, or to love you. Then wait in the quiet and see if God shows up in any fun ways.
“What if obedience is not the goal of Christian parenting? What if it’s our job as parents to instead help our kids get to know God and discover that God can be trusted?”
— Meredith Miller, Woven
A Prayer
of blessing for faith nurturing, from Meredith Miller
May the God who lets us come boldly and bluntly
remind you that in a trusting relationship,
there’s no need to hide, to perform, to pretend.
And may God give you confidence
to share that reality with the kids in your life
who are getting to know God for the first time.
Amen.
P.S.
Our free monthly Prayer and Practice Group is THIS Thursday, March 28th at 3pm EST. We'll enter into a time of reflection on the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. If you would appreciate a guided meditation to lead you into your Good Friday and Easter Weekend, then this one is for you! Register HERE.
Lastly, you can still download your Holy Week Guide with a daily poem, practice, and prayer for the next 7 days as together we walk purposefully with Jesus as He walks toward the cross.
If you missed any of the weeks in this Lent series, our Jesus-questions thus far have been, What are you seeking?, Do you want to be well?, Why are you so afraid?, What do you want me to do for you? and Who condemns you?
I would absolute LOVE to hear how this goes if you’d like to reply!!
So good, and timely yet again for me❤️